Terms of Service

STATUS: LEGALLY BINDING (PROBABLY)

EFFECTIVE: JANUARY 2025

BORIS APPROVED: RELUCTANTLY

1. ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS

By accessing and using why.games, you agree to be bound by these Terms of Service. If you don't agree, Boris suggests you leave immediately. He's very protective of this domain that cost me $99 I didn't have.

Translation: Click anything = You agree. It's that simple.

2. USE OF SITE

You may use our Site and games for lawful purposes only. You agree NOT to:

Hack, exploit, or cheat in games (they're already broken enough)
Distribute malware or harmful code (we have enough bugs already)
Scrape or copy our content without permission (why would you want to?)
Use automated systems to artificially inflate scores (just git gud)
Harass other users (there are no other users yet)
Make Boris angry (trust me, you don't want that)

3. INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

All games and content on why.games are protected by copyright, sheer panic, and Boris's watchful eye. The terminal-style interface and unique game implementations are our intellectual property.

Translation: We made this stuff at 3am fueled by energy drinks. Please don't steal it. We have nothing else.

Seriously though, we spent way too much time on this. Copying our code would be like stealing ramen from a college student. Not cool.

4. USER-GENERATED CONTENT

If you submit scores, comments, or other content, you grant us a non-exclusive license to use this content. We promise to only use it to:

Show off that someone actually plays our games
Make Boris feel better about the domain purchase
Prove to my therapist that this project has users

5. DISCLAIMER

Games are provided "as is" without warranties. We are not responsible for:

Any loss of game progress or data
Emotional damage from rage quitting
Time lost that could've been productive
Boris's harsh but accurate criticism
The existential crisis from realizing you're playing games on a domain someone panic-bought

6. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY

We shall not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, or consequential damages arising from your use of the Site. This includes but is not limited to:

Loss of productivity
Damaged keyboards from rage
Strained relationships from ignoring loved ones to beat high scores
The realization that you spent hours on browser games

Maximum liability: $99 (the cost of this domain)

7. PREMIUM SERVICES

If we ever offer premium features (unlikely, but dream big), additional terms and payment policies will apply.

Current premium features include: Absolutely nothing. But if you want to send money anyway, Boris needs birdseed.

8. TERMINATION

We reserve the right to terminate or suspend access to our Site for violations of these Terms. Reasons for termination may include:

Being mean to Boris
Actually expecting professional-quality games
Trying to sell our games as NFTs (please don't)
Making us question our life choices more than we already do

9. CHANGES TO TERMS

We may modify these Terms at any time, usually at 3am when we can't sleep. Continued use constitutes acceptance of modified Terms. We'll try to make changes obvious, but no promises - we're barely keeping this site running as is.

10. GOVERNING LAW

These Terms are governed by applicable international internet law, the laws of panic-driven development, and whatever Boris decides is fair. Any disputes will be settled by playing best-of-three in our flagship sumo game.

11. CONTACT

For questions about these Terms, you can reach us at:

Email: legal@why.games (checked bi-annually)
Terminal: $ contact --legal (not implemented yet)
Carrier pigeon: Send to Boris (he might eat it)
Telepathy: We're working on it